One Mentor Shares Her Story

One Mentor Serving in Citizens for Community Values Victim Assistance Program Shares Her Story

By Carol Wiley,
Director of Victim Assistance

The lifeblood of Citizens for Community Values Victim Assistance Program is the women who volunteer to mentor the victims leaving the sex-oriented businesses. These women wear different hats, depending on the need, such as role model, surrogate mom, babysitter, surrogate grandmother, disciple maker, friend, and/or advisor. The amount of time they devote to the woman they are mentoring varies. This is worked out between the victim and her mentor as they prioritize the victims needs, and take into account the mentor’s family priorities and individual commitments. Mentors are encouraged to keep their priorities in order because this is a life lesson in and of itself for the victims. The mentors and the victim assistance director back each other up to make sure the victim’s needs and emergencies are met.

Here is the heart of one of our mentor’s expressed in her own words.

“From the sidelines, I watched a good friend of mine mentor several young dancers, wanting to leave the night club industry. I had never thought much about the “gentlemen’s clubs” in town, but through my friend I saw the real faces, of the people who suffered, behind these disgraceful and humiliating businesses. I learned their personal stories. Virtually all of their histories were very sad, either because of the effect of growing up in dysfunctional families, or due to the poor choices made very early in their lives. Furthermore, to hear the extent of what goes on in the strip clubs that I routinely drive by repulsed me. I would bet the general public has no idea what kind of sex and violence surrounds these Memphis establishments. I felt my friend was doing meaningful hands-on work, the work that others might feel they hadn’t the right gifts to do.

“After many months, I decided to try, like my friend, to reach out to another human being, a woman not that unlike myself, with similar hopes and dreams for her life. I found that while it is easy to serve someone I know and love, ministering to a stranger, that I might even be a little afraid of, did not seem particularly natural or comfortable. Yet God has shown me, as I trusted He would show me how to love and serve someone in a seemingly hopeless situation, even though I may not receive the thanks that I so often have come to expect when I accept a big responsibility.

“The lives of these young women are not neat or clean or predictable. They aren’t hanging around waiting for us to “fix” them. But the women that I’ve know personally, who made the decision to get out of the sex industry in Memphis, the ones that I have loved, encouraged and supported, have been like tiny flower buds. They have been closed so tightly for so long. Their petals have been hidden from the sun. If I can show them the light and warmth that I know in Jesus Christ, these little buds can come out of the darkness, into the light, and be cared for, and bloom. They will grow and so will I. (John 1:9—The true light that give light to every man was coming into the world)”

Join us in the wonderful ministry of pointing victims in darkness to freedom in the light. Call me, Carol Wiley at (901) 685-1493 or email me carol@ccvmemphis.org.